The Ghanaian queer community faces a lot of hate. And it’s a fact that those voices of condemnation leave no space for any actual conversation. Although there are allies, and people people who educate themselves away from the hate, being queer in Ghana is still an experience that requires a degree of bravery. Kuulpeeps.com had an anonymous conversation with a 24-year old woman who is openly gay, and willing to answer some questions about parts of her life.
What Do Your Parents Think?
Anon is the second of three kids, living at home with her mom and two siblings. Her mom doesn’t know she’s gay, and Anon doesn’t feel she’s ready to have that conversation yet. The decisions about our lifestyle—the courses we study in school, the jobs we take, the people we date—those are things that the Ghanaian parent usually has sway over. However, when it comes to sexuality, the conversation changes a bit. For Anon, there is a simple truth. She could let what everyone else would prefer to dictate how she lives, even at the cost of her own happiness. But Anon also knows that if she did that, inevitably, she would get to a point in her life where she will regret that decision.
It’s not exactly a fun thing to think about, according to Anon, but one day your parents are going to pass. The people that you try to please with your decisions won’t be in your life anymore. At that point, what you’re going to be left with, is the consequences of the decisions that you have made. And for Anon the consequences of not choosing herself and her happiness first, are unimaginable. Of course, she would love to avoid a conflict with her parents—but to Anon, it is even more unreasonable to trade her happiness for theirs.
Anon’s openness with the members of her family is important to her. However, she is still going to wait until she has some financial leverage to share this part of herself with her parents, although one of her siblings does know.
What Did Discovery Mean For You?
Discovering their sexuality isn’t something that a lot of people can trace to a single moment in their lives. It’s the same for Anon. When she got to SHS—which happened to be a mixed school—she realized that it was a period of romance and relationships for her mates. But as she recalls, she had never felt that attraction to men. Realizing that she was gay didn’t come as too much of a surprise for Anon. However, accepting that she was was one of the more difficult things that she has had to go through. As someone who was deeply religious, there was a natural conflict.
These days, Anon is careful not to let negativity and homophobia into her personal space. As a result, her friends are mostly queer and she tends to have allies around. As far as relationships go, it’s still Accra and getting your heart broken is never out of the question—not even for Anon.
Anon is 24, and the longest relationship she has had lasted a little over 2 years.